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Sexsibility teachers Johan Ekenberg... and sex as a highway to God

I see Johan Ekenberg driving on the highway in a convertible. His final destination is God, and he gets there, I guess, on many of his...





I see Johan Ekenberg driving on the highway in a convertible. His final destination is God, and he gets there, I guess, on many of his cruises.
Because Johan found out, years ago, that sex is a highway to God.
And he loves to bring a lot of passengers on his cruises.
And we are happy to have him onboard among the teachers in the upcoming sexsibility training, starting February 20th.

( Most of this blogpost is an excerpt of a speech Johan held in Malmö. Here you can read a similar blog post in Swedish. )

Johan Ekenberg has worked with sex and sexuality for more than twenty years. I have met him many times. I have done groups with him, I have been assisting his “road trips” and I’ve been listening to him.
This man has a mission. He wants us to really live our life. And as he puts it: “How vibrant kan life be?”

Johan Ekenberg wants us to feel more alive, that we meet each other and that a wonderful space to meet is when be make love.

He uses to say that there is to ways of having sex: 

Either you have friction sex or you have essence sex
... where friction is... friction, in and out, to rub certain parts of your body towards another body and it feels nice, and to feel the tension in the body and then, for a man, get a release through ejaculation. 

And as I interprete Johan he means that that may be nice sometimes, but that it’s a picture of a immature sexual behavior, where the man is just looking for a hole to squirt in.


So Johan wants us to look in another direction. Towards essence sex. And when he speaks about that he turns into a love preacher. And I see the essence in Johan himself surface as he speaks about life and the possibilities sex may give.


Johan talks about having sex in prescense, sex with relaxation, sex where a man and a women (the only sex he has tried) feel each other, breathe together and opens wider inner spece.


– Sex may be a leverage to a richer life, where nor technique, nor the body are important, what is importan is life within me and life within you. That our lives may meet.


Johan Ekenberg questions peoples priorities. A person from Sweden has sex in average 1,5 times a week, during 15 minutes in total. And that it the same person who spends at least six hours in front of the teve set each week. He thinks it should be the other way around.
– Something is wrong when the core business in a home is to watch teve.


Under such circumstances it isn’t strange that people are  dissatisfied in their relations. There are many persons who long for more sex and intimacy and the dissatisfaction happens when people doesn’t have their needs fulfilled.


And then couples start quarreling about  cleaning the  house, beacuse it’s easier than to say: I need more of you!


Johan Ekenberg means that essence sex may open a portal within us, and that can make life feel more meaningful.


– Tradional intercorse is like making love like monkeys. It’s not  strange  that people in their 40s and 50s get bored by that kind of sex. In and out is kind of boring, independent of what position you use.


Johan Ekenberg means that to give birth to a child is the most holy there is, and the second most holy then most be to make a child, and the portal to heaven is the womans sex... and with that logic the woman herself is holy.


– The woman is the portal to paradise and the man has the key to that door. What he need to do is not to do and in and out movement with the key, but to put the key into the look and then turn it around the door will open.


Johan means is what we really need is to relax  in the pelvic area especially when having sex. Because it’s in the relaxed state we may feel. Many women has tension in the pelvice area and in their vaginas, and that makes them feel less and many men has masturbated so much and so hard, that thay have difficulties in feeling when they have entered heaven.


– The bigges challenge for humanity is to teach men to  control their sexuality. Many ejaculates to early, which leads to lots of unwanted children. Men neads to learn to stay with their sexual energy,  being there for the women, and giving them space to relax totally.





And than he paints a picture of heaven, where the man sees the woman and gives her love and intimacy. Where his  message to her is that he will stay with her indefinitely, without effort, and just form  a willingness to give.


– Then the woman may relax, and when she does, she opens another space for pleausre, for both parties.


Johan Ekenberg speaks literally about an area deep inside the woman, that she may open to hem, if tboth hare relaxand and theey make love fore a long time. It takes about 20 minutes for a woman to reach the point where she may open that pace. And then sometihing magical happens. They melt together. They know what love is.


And tihs lovemaking may at times be still and silent, whrere the man at times looses some of his erection, but stats inside the woman, and where the excitement never exceeds 80 per cent, and never  is less thant 50 pers cent. In this gap they create heaven together, and in this space it-s possible to make love for hours.


– The womans role is to oper  hersalf totally, and to do that she need the presence of the man. That he is really there with her, not fantazingn about something else, just being there, loving her.


He means that everybody may learn this manner of lovemakng, and that it, over time, will transforme the life energy within the man, making him a leader who wants to support life. 


And what woman, who loves having sex with men, doesn’t want to make love with such a man?

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Charlotte Cronquist

Charlotte Cronquist
Bloggen för dig som vill få ut det mesta av livet. Författaren och coachen Charlotte Cronquist lär dig hur du får bättre relationer och hur du kan älska mer. Blogposts in English available.

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