What if you can ask for what you want

embrace your fear2020.jpg

How often does it happen that you don’t go for what you want?
How often does it happen that you hide either a yes or a no, and hiding it to people, things or requests?

Have you any idea of your strategies to hold your self back work, and are you willing to look closer on what you really do?
Let’s say I see this amazing guy, and would like to have a date with him. And instead of acting on what I really want, I do nothing. What can the reason for such a behavior be?
What might prevent a person from taking a step forward?

Here are some possible answers:

  • Fear of getting a no.

  • Fear of feeling rejected.

  • Fear of failure.

  • Fear of being ridiculed.

  • Lack of courage.

And sometimes it’s as simple as: We don’t actually know what we want.

Let’s create another scenario. You are in a relationship and would like to have sex with your partner. But you hesitate to act on it. The reasons why you don’t may be some of the above, or others. You may for example fear being disappointed, you may feel to shy to ask etc. And then the question is: What do you do instead?

There is something you want to say yes or no to, but you don’t. So what’s your strategy, what do you do? Here is some common strategies (that people often are unaware of. )

  • Blaming the other.

  • Being angry at the other.

  • Pretend you didn’t want anything.

  • Manipulate your partner.

  • Try to get him or her to act out what you want.

  • Go to bed.

  • Be silent.

  • Be grumpy.

  • Playing out the victim-role.

  • Feel disappointed.

This is just a few of the possible strategies.

And I think this is really interesting. I mean, most of us do sometimes not show what we want, or ask for it. The communication gets unclear.

When do you use strategies like that`
Do you have other strategies?
What insight has this little experiment given you?

Message from your Swedish love warrior


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Charlotte Cronquist

Charlotte Cronquist
Bloggen för dig som vill få ut det mesta av livet. Författaren och coachen Charlotte Cronquist lär dig hur du får bättre relationer och hur du kan älska livet mer. Blogposts in English available.





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