What if I try to write the manual to a happy and playful life?


Malmö 1999

There is a big crisis in my life, and for the first time I ask a psychotherapist for help. I sit there listening to him, getting impatient as the hour rushes by. And just before leaving I just have to ask what’s my main concern:

– Are you going to give me the manual now?

– What manual?

– The manual that tells me how to live my life.

– There are no such manuals.

I was actually stupefied. Parts of me demanded a quick solution to my distress. Parts of me actually believed that there actually was a manual telling me to live a life with happiness. And when walking down the stairs I realized that a manual like that might put all the shrinks and psychotherapists out of work.

So I started ”working on my self”, in so many ways, to, I guess, find a way to live that felt more meaningful, and happier.

Today, in the shower, it hit me. Almost ever since then, I’ve tried to write such a manual, and produced books covering different aspects of being human. And I feel a heat in my face, like I am about to blush… because it’s NOW I realize what is an important aspect of my work, and my striving.

I want people to be happy, to feel self love, to be compassionate, to feel their value, to enjoy sex, to feel pleasure, to be playful, to play, to have self distance, to feel the life force energy flowing inside.

And I guess the person who needed all this the most was probably me. 

So if I look at my production from this manual perspective, what to I see: A book about shame and sexuality (shame is really a huge obstacle, if you want to feel free to be you). A book about meeting your shadow sides and how you could take inner leadership (a book filled with questions to the reader, that might be helpful to see one self without blinkers) and a book about tantra (where I talk about playfulness, pleasure, communication and relating).

And I see that I sort of write about this, simply using myself as an example, showing my experiences, and hoping that I can contribute to a movement towards more self love in a person. I have a manner that is straightforward, simple, easy to understand. 

I realize there is like a shy preacher in me, who really wants to spread love around. And when I look at my production, I can see a read thread… I want to ignite hope and love… And I am also aware that there really isn’t a manual… even if I really want to bring in my perspective… hoping it will activate peoples willingness to take full responsibility for their lives and their happiness.

Charlotte Cronquist is a love warrior

Love is the answer


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  1. "hoping it will activate peoples willingness to take full responsibility for their lives and their happiness."


    I am so happy sitting here, reading this, seeing that red thread of yours, knowing the importance of the work you do - both for you and for others, it's truly a both/and-relationship here!

    1. Helena, I almost start to cry. You words are so sothing... so loving. Merry Christmas!



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Charlotte Cronquist

Charlotte Cronquist
Bloggen för dig som vill få ut det mesta av livet. Författaren och coachen Charlotte Cronquist lär dig hur du får bättre relationer och hur du kan älska livet mer. Blogposts in English available.





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