Meeting Steven James: In total presence in the most unexpected way.

I want to tell an amazing story about trust, surrender, a sacred space… and ropes.
I do admit I still have ideas, which may limit my experiences.
And when saying yes to something totally new, to something I thought I wouldn’t like at all, something new might happen.
I took one of those opportunities and it opened new spaces with in.
I felt my whole body vibrate through breath, trust and surrender.


You might ask what experience I have had. The knot of it all is, that I had a sacred rope session with ropemaster Steven James, who works in the japanese Kinbaku tradition, and that was an absolutely magnificent experience.

Considering that I, for decades, have been panicking just by the thought of my body being trapped, retained or tied, it’s really a wonder that I accepted a question from Alexander of being tied in public at The JoyRide Winter.

I was prepared for the experience and to me the trigger was a great longing to surrender. And how would it be more possible to do that, than being tied by a ropemaster?

So we met, we talked, we created a space of trust, and then he tied me. My eyes were closed, I was totally focused on my breathing, feeling his movements, the ropes touching my skin, me giving in to him. I was staying in my inner universe, feeling the outer world and my body through his breath, his movements, and the ropes.

The first ropes tied my hands, to pose me in a situation of helplessness. To me there was nothing submissive in this gesture, to choose to trust that he, his ropes, and his heart, his presence, would create something that I would enjoy.

Sometime the ropes hurt a little, and I was breathing through the slight pain. Sometimes there came a little breeze of panic, the mind started running thoughts like” Oh shit I am trapped, o shit I am helpless”, and I just continued to breath, and feeling how the bond of trust between us just increased. I felt how a combination of breathing, the feeling of the ropes towards my skin, the surrender and our mutual trust created a space of love, a space of heart, a space of heightened presence. To me the universe was just him, me, my breath and the ropes. It was like diving into a deep sea of conscious presence, feeling every inch of my body filling with new vital energy.

And as the session grew, as my body was covered with more ropes, ties, and knots, I started to feel bubbling sensations in my body. Soon the whole body was pulsating, and feelings of pleasure filled my being. It felt like making love in a space of total trust.

And to me it was totally unexpected. There was no sexual touch, there was just presence, trust and the touch of the ropes transforming me into being an orgasmic body, and with the possibility to totally let go of control. Let every movement happen, without any ideas, without trying to do anything, just letting the experience unfold.

At a time I was hanging in free air. It felt like floating in the universe, or floating in the womb, in a space I guess I might have been when I was still there in the womb. A state of wonder, a timeless space, just being, without any labeling. Just being.

I am so grateful for this experience.