Sexsibility teachers: Ruby May and conscious kink

Ruby May is a gourgeous person, living in Berlin and teaching conscious kink.
And we are extremely happy that she is among the teachers in the sexsibility training starting February 20th 2013.
– I would like to create a safe container and sacred space in order to explore and celebrate the full spectrum of our sexual desires, regardless of how taboo or politically incorrect they are, Ruby says.


I hade asked the teachers involved in the sexsibility training to share some of their perspectives on sexuality. And while reading the answers from Ruby I got so excited, and I am really looking forward to her module. And I am so happy our participants will have to explore depths within themselves - and get in contact with parts of themselves, perheps new even to them selves.
Ruby works with sexuality because it is such a juicy and fertile resource and powerful gateway to connecting with the self and our deepest nature and truth and moving towards more balance and wholeness in life. It is endlessly mysterious and perplexing and above everything, fun, she thinks.

Ten years ago Ruby saw her first ever  burlesque performance almost 10 years ago. In that moment something happened:
– I was deeply touched to see something erotic, that was not exploitative or seedy, but was playful, creative and empowering. Until that point, everything in my outer world that I had been exposed to and conditioned by had been sex negative, and only my inner world had already taught me that sex was something sacred.
This experience inspired her to create her own business designing and selling burlesque and fetish costumes and go deeply into her own healing journey with sexuality, creating the foundation for the work with Conscious Kink she does now.
Rubt tells me that she always has been kinky:
– My sexuality has never really fit in a box, I have always been turned on by ‘odd’ things. And I suppose also a result of my inherent tendency to question everything, specifically the cultural norms and the taboos I am surrounded by. Kink, being particularly taboo was always particularly appealing. I don’t feel like I ever ‘chose’ it though. I started playing with it in my work, and there was such a high resonance in my clients to combine themes like power, humiliation, the forbidden and pain with arousal in a safe and sacred space, and it felt so strongly that the world really needs this that I just sort of continued and everything unfolded incredibly magically to allow me to put it out in the world, more and more.

She is drawn to many different approaches and angles and have collected some great tools for over these years, including working with Sexological bodywork, which emphasizes the importance of being erotically embodied and learning through deep somatic self-awareness, working with Tantra (she is greatly influenced by the teachings of John Hawken), Bio energetics and more recently constellation work.

Working with sexuality has changes Rubys life in mant weird and wonderful ways.
– I have been on a beautiful journey, deep into my own sexuality and wounds around it, and the insight and transformation I have received have rippled into many other parts of my life and continue to do so. If I had to summarize, I would just say I feel more integrated and at peace with all the parts that I am made of, and that my consciousness and understanding of myself, others and the world around us is significantly expanded.

Her work has given her the honour of witnessing many people in such intimate, vulnerable and beautiful ways. It has trained her to pay more attention and read and see people in more profound ways than she had previously done. It has given her endless opportunities to marvel at the complexities and mysteries of life, as after all - sex, desire, orgasm - these are, along with birth and death, some of life’s greatest mysteries!

So what insights would you like to share with the participants?
– I would like to share my insights, knowledge and experience in the role that cultural conditioning plays in our sexual development and the formation of erotic shadows. I would like to create a safe container and sacred space in order to explore and celebrate the full spectrum of our sexual desires, regardless of how taboo or politically incorrect they are. I would like to share what hidden treasures are in our erotic shadows, how much insight into our relationships with desire, intimacy and the feminine and masculine we can gain from examining them, how much creative energy that wants to flow through us can be released, by honouring them, how much more integration and self-love can be cultivated through meeting them…

And finally, what perspective do you plan to bring into the sexsibilitytraining?
– All the parts that make us up, the layers of desires, fears, emotions, everything wants to be honoured and met. Through giving permission to everything, even the really icky or taboo, we can remember the innocence of our true nature, and allow life to flow through us, moving us towards wholeness, and finding joy in many unexpected places along the way…